a new box of 64 crayons

I feel as though I'm still my 14 year old self trapped in my almost 20 year old body

Like I should be getting used to my new boobs, wearing ugly clogs, spiderman t-shirts, super flares, spending extra allowance money at the comic book shop and dreaming of the freedom i will acquire when i turn 16 and can drive a car! I don't want to not be a teenager anymore, how long will I be able to pull off my knock off doc martins and ripped tights without some young hooligan thinking I'm just living in my past and still trying to be cool.

I am forever the awkward dorky girl. Never a sexy manipulative woman with men falling left and right at her feet like most "women" i know. Maybe someday a boy will find it cute? ha, that is quite the joke.

scratch school of the list. ( for now )

new project for which I will need the following:

tape recorder

typewriter

twine

recycled paper

polaroid camera and film

open individuals with an hour of time. 

i think i'm finally on to something.

let me know if you're interested.

today consisted of a much needed shower, some shopping and lifting. the company of  good old friends, a new puppy and advice from a man who is somehow my father. Apparently, if  I only had meat and god in my life I wouldn't have so many problems. Fuck me, I can't believe this whole time I should just be eating cheeseburgers and praying. Shit, the world is starting to make sense, thanks dad. 

I'm moving to portland. 

until fall, i'll keep my hands occupied with books of all sorts, acrylics, ink, paper, wine, my guitar and harmonica and my feet busy dancing to james brown, the supremes and sir david bowie.