Hey strawberry man

Street lights create silhouettes of parkway trees and mailboxes lining the roadside.

tapping rhythms with my boots on the damp pavement to the song stuck in my head. 

Let the rain fall softly on your cheeks. 

Im hanging onto a cloud of smoke

release the anchor and i'll drift away among the clouds.

I like it up here with the lost balloons and birds. 

My heads always stuck here anyways. 

"Take the entire world and then the Moon!"

man overboard!

The cups filled to the brim on it's delicate saucer. 

I'm on the brim just like the coffee I sip slowly; about to spill over the edges of it's containment and escape. 

It's like the reading the right words to be able to close the back cover of a grand novel and feel satisfied.

The ending's bittersweet. The protagonist has both lost, won, discovered, learned and is onto the next great beginning that you'll never know about. 

I'm in love with the elegance of black and white

but lately everything is a blur of grey. 

Im waiting for the clarity of light and dark.

looking for flying saucers in the sky

Drinking whiskey and going to a house show seemed like a better idea.

Everything I said about leaving I meant.

I'll do what I can to say goodbye first. 

I stood on the landing outside your apartment door for 2 minutes,

trying to decide if i should turn the door handle and go back inside and kiss you. 

After contemplation I ran down the steps to my car instead. 

We cooled our feet in the water and then I walked along the ledge that kept in the wild flowers.

I laid in the grass in my summer dress listening to the music. The weather was perfect and the security guard kept catching me smoking cigarettes on the lawn. God Forbid cigarettes liter the lawn of the Chicago's grand millennium park, when the most of the city doesn't even have recycling. I miss last summer more than you know; listening to blonde on blonde in your bedroom while planning our escape to spain, drinking too much whiskey and laying in the back yard. All of us  sitting on the sofa in boxer briefs and swimsuits sweating like crazy because we were too cheap to turn on the air conditioning. 

Here are some tunes I've been enjoying this lovely bitter cold February, new and old:

(a collection of garage rock, delta blues, folk, shoegaze, punk, twee pop, lo fi experimental, tropicalia & everything in between. Enjoy!)

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=49ef33f474eee8c94c17ca8801618ef7660a060f2a1f2407ce018c8114394287

 

track listing

Don't slip up - Meat Whiplash

Something on your mind - Karen Dalton

Hearing Voices - Galaxie 500

Art isn't real (city of sin) - Deer Tick

Dance - ESG

Here it comes - Meat Whiplash

Shady Lane - Pavement

Poor boy long way from home - John Fahey

To the Dregs - Wavves

Shot Down - The Sonics

We could walk together - The Clientele

Cyanide Breath Mint - Beck

Sweet Girl  - Ringo Deathstarr

Two Left Feet - Mark Sultan

Apocalypse - White Magic

Broke - The Woods

So Bored - Wavves

Cat Walk - Beat Happening

Permanent Damage - Cheap Time

This night has opened my eyes - Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti 

Between your ear and the other ear - The Microphones

Bitch - The Vaselines

Crying at the station - Brownie Mcghee 

Alfromega - Caetano Veloso 

Goodbye Girls - Broadcast

You can Have it all - Yo la tengo

Pink Sugar Elephant - Vashti Bunyan

Gas - Daminhao Experyenca 

Black Winds - Little John & The Monks

Rats Revenge pt. 2 - The Rats

Almost True - Yo La Tengo

Desert Highway - Neil Young

as she said.

The whole world is falling apart

& I just want to write songs that are pretty. 

I can't be in this city any longer.

I'm leaving. 

I wish tonight wasn't the last winter snowstorm or I'd pack my car and go now.  

your melody isn't that sweet anyways. 

my mind is filled with too many pipe dreams. 

I'm not naive like you think, so stop pretending like everything's alright. 

The spiral always goes down not up,

I should be there, but I'm here and helpless and hung over. 

why is it impossible for my eyes to make tears?

Chain smoking & delta blues all through the early morning.  

tutti frutti

Let's play hide and seek across the country.

I'll send you a postcard and you try to find me. 

stumble through the alphabet to find the letters to form the words

that can't explain anything. 

do you cross your J's and dot your i's?

what do you romanticize? 

artificial banana flavor is THE best flavor.

much better than actual banana flavor. 

the moment is never right for what I know is wrong.

my memory is always sending mixed messages,

but your awkward appeal is starting to wear off,

I can hear you looking at me, 

tell me the right words before it's too late. 

I may explode or implode from nervousness. 

I need the sun to warm my skin,

 feel grass between my toes again

and climb the trash cans in the alley 

so I can chain smoke on the roof of the garage

before I move.

a new box of 64 crayons

I feel as though I'm still my 14 year old self trapped in my almost 20 year old body

Like I should be getting used to my new boobs, wearing ugly clogs, spiderman t-shirts, super flares, spending extra allowance money at the comic book shop and dreaming of the freedom i will acquire when i turn 16 and can drive a car! I don't want to not be a teenager anymore, how long will I be able to pull off my knock off doc martins and ripped tights without some young hooligan thinking I'm just living in my past and still trying to be cool.

I am forever the awkward dorky girl. Never a sexy manipulative woman with men falling left and right at her feet like most "women" i know. Maybe someday a boy will find it cute? ha, that is quite the joke.

scratch school of the list. ( for now )

new project for which I will need the following:

tape recorder

typewriter

twine

recycled paper

polaroid camera and film

open individuals with an hour of time. 

i think i'm finally on to something.

let me know if you're interested.

today consisted of a much needed shower, some shopping and lifting. the company of  good old friends, a new puppy and advice from a man who is somehow my father. Apparently, if  I only had meat and god in my life I wouldn't have so many problems. Fuck me, I can't believe this whole time I should just be eating cheeseburgers and praying. Shit, the world is starting to make sense, thanks dad. 

I'm moving to portland. 

until fall, i'll keep my hands occupied with books of all sorts, acrylics, ink, paper, wine, my guitar and harmonica and my feet busy dancing to james brown, the supremes and sir david bowie. 

nonsensical delights

eat your misfortune cookies.

wear hot pants, short pants, no pants!

fill your flask with wine. 

steal flowers from your neighbors garden. 

Blasphemy! 

romance me with daffodils, comic books, and pancakes.

place pink plastic flamingos in your yard perfectly.

send me a telegram, a silly postcard or a pine cone.

Try to catch some wind in your hair.

Agatha Christie can't solve the mystery of "two step skank beats."

embrace the mustache. 

clean off your crusty toothpaste cap. you'll feel better.

smoke pot in a church parking lot. 

be a kook! delight yourself with spontaneity.

seduce a seahorse with James Brown and get funky.

The ice cream man is not always a pedophile.  

share your pipe-dreams with a beautiful stranger.

sing along with hummingbirds. 

 get a tattoo of a lisa frank unicorn. 

call your delusional aunt, she always sends the best gifts. 

Aretha Franklin always appreciates you singing along. she is the best company,

so don't be shy. 

Spit on a stranger

I drove to the outskirts of town

parked my car. 

& screamed at the top of my lungs.

I think it was necessary for my sanity. 

 I miss you.

I hate valentines day. 

I'm glad YOU are coming back this weekend.

It IS necessary for my sanity. 

R.I.P. Lux Interior

I received a phone call from the only person I know loves the Cramps as much as myself informing me that Lux Interior passed away last night.

I remember the first time I heard "I was a teenage werewolf" when I was 15 or so hanging out at the skate park. 

I'll be listening to my Cramps records all day, dancing around my room and drinking beers to mourn this loss. 

R.I.P. Lux. 

on a train to philadelphia

Sunlight flashes as it streams through the leaves and finds its way into my eyes.

There are so many trees here on the east coast. 

The air feels fresh and I can breathe again.

In Chicago I feel like I don't breathe enough. 

Suffocation of my emotions mostly.

It's all a game.

We're just a complicated and selfish form of bacteria destroying the beauty of nature with ambition and industry. 

Our sole purpose to attach ourselves and reproduce to continue a piece of our own existence on this planet.

To leave behind our footprint.

Desire to have a unique stamp.

We are all kinetically the same.

We share the same hopefulness and longing for happiness and contentment. 

We create our own pain and troubles.

I am restless.

I seek the thrill of exploration through travel and interactions with strangers who cross my path.

Damn, I am cynical. 

Save the children!