BLAHHHHH

SUMMER BUMMER!!!!!!

I want to go to this festival so bad. I'm not sure which has a better line up this or Goner Fest  in Memphis. I don't think I'll be able to make it to either since I'm moving to Portland Mid September. Real life summer bummer.

cherry red suitcase

and I'm getting ready to pack it.

The Girl with the million dollar smile

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett

What I Want From You Is Sweet

Orion Rigel Dommisse creates a haunting and lovely sound somewhere between freak folk and baroque classical music. It makes me feel like I should run through a dark forrest filled with white deer and write letters to a dead lover by candle light.

Download What I Want From You Is Sweet (2007) Here

BUGALOO

insomina.

tick tick tock.

the grandfather clock.

I can't wrap my head around the measurement.

The seconds.

minutes.

hours.

days.

weeks. 

months.

years.

Only the seasons make sense 

and the shift from light to dark. 

The warmth of bodies and the frozen minds. 

twenty.

It's 12:04 am which makes this now officially my birthday....

too bad I'm sick, alone and my throat hurts so bad I can't even smoke a god damn cigarette. 

rain dance.

I am the narrator.

sleepless nights in a smokey room in a town of agendas. 

I slammed my fists into the table, wished for whiskey, and settled for a less inebriating distraction. 

scribbled pages.

acrylic paint deep in the fibers of the beige carpet.

The communist Manifesto. 

I'm hanging by a string; aching, bruised, anxious, hungry to begin what I don't know,

second hand and sparkling.

silver spoons.

You're head is nodding to the speakers in my ears.

Eyes locked over the opening of a bottle,

through a cloud of smoke.

His wrists were covered in decorations of all sorts

and his fingers too.

Long blonde strands brushed away from

one of the loveliest faces I had ever seen.

Whispers in ears of motorcycles and rock and roll.

music for the sunshine.

Django Reinhardt;

excellent belgian gypsy jazz.

(1910-1953)

download here.

seek wisdoms in the trees.

I got a lovely new bicycle. It's a 1964 Schwinn cruiser in a beautiful copper-tone color.

We drank beers and smoked cigarettes on the front porch all night

and prince played on cassette. 

It felt like summer time all over again.

I can't wait for it to be this way everyday. 

Afterwards we were riding back to your apartment and you told me to stop. I thought something was wrong.

 you got off your bicycle and picked a yellow daffodil from the median, kissed me on the cheek and handed it to me. 

It's getting harder to sleep without you next to me.

tulips.

The air is warm!

All the rain has spring finally in bloom.

The grass is green and the flowers are opening and I'm staring over.

I've packed up all my things.

all that remains is my bed, an empty bookshelf, my old guitar and clumps of dust.

It's strange to part ways forever with a home with so many memories and people tied to it.

I'll miss the light flooding the apartment in the early morning, the garage I climbed on top of in the summertime to drink wine and lay against the rough shingles, the stale smokey scent of the laundry room I lived for the 3 warm months and the company of my lovely roommates. 

It's the first step in saying goodbye to Chicago.

I'll be in and out to visit and see the wonderful people and music in the summertime.

and in august I say fare-the-well!

I'll be turning 20 in a month.

King Khan & the Shrines and The Vaselines are playing the same weekend before. 

It will be a glorious celebration of 2 decades. 

LOST:

 A BLACK LEATHER BOUND NOTEBOOK WITH PAGES FALLING OUT

 It is filled cover to cover with 3 months worth of dreams, plans, poetry and secrets.

Now it is missing. probably on a curb somewhere in wicker park covered in snow, where I last saw it in my bag next to my pint of whiskey. 

I'm extremely upset to lose something that I've wrote in every day since this year began.

At the least I hope someone finds it and reads it and enjoys it.

and if YOU happen to stumble upon it, please read and return.

Thank you.